Throughout life, we all develop expectations. An expectation is something we look forward to happening. Expectations usually develop when we compare ourselves with others (“They get to so why can’t I”) or from promises people make or imply. Some expectations result from true needs in our lives, like being loved, accepted, and feeling safe. When those expectations are not met in the ways we want them to be met by others or God, the emotional reaction is often anger.
The Bible says to “be angry, and yet do not sin” (Ephesians 4:26). Anger becomes a problem when we deal with it in a wrong way. A way to guard against acting in anger is to surrender our expectations to God. In surrendering, I choose to let God meet my needs in the ways He sees best, not in the ways in which I want to see things done. I decide to trust Him and look to Him as the source of my peace, joy, provision and security, instead of looking to circumstances or to other people.
The Bible says to “be angry, and yet do not sin” (Ephesians 4:26). Anger becomes a problem when we deal with it in a wrong way. A way to guard against acting in anger is to surrender our expectations to God. In surrendering, I choose to let God meet my needs in the ways He sees best, not in the ways in which I want to see things done. I decide to trust Him and look to Him as the source of my peace, joy, provision and security, instead of looking to circumstances or to other people.
However, what if I don’t recognize an expectation I have and I get angry? What if the anger remains in my heart? When I do not deal with my anger it turns into bitterness. A bitter person is one who is unhappy, resentful, harsh, critical, and mad at the world. If I do not deal with my bitterness it will lead to a sense of hopelessness or despair. The roots of bitterness will go down deeper and deeper into resentment, revenge, not being grateful and having no hope
(Hebrews 12:15).
To deal with anger and bitterness, I can choose to forgive others for what has happened and release them from my expectations. God will deal with them, so I defer that right to Him. I become unable to be satisfied and focus totally on the unmet expectation, and, the one who failed to meet it. Also, I become unable to see how God is meeting my needs. What if the anger is at God? If so, I must make a choice to trust in the truth that God is loving and compassionate, that He is working all circumstances in my life for the good (Romans 8:28), and that He will provide my every need (Philippians 4:19) in His way and in His time.
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